


Quaint Little Arlen

by orphan_account



Category: King of the Hill
Genre: F/M, KotH - Freeform, M/M, They swear sometimes, dale is bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24231784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Just seeing where this goes. A work in progress.
Relationships: Hank Hill/Peggy Hill, Jeff Boomhauer/Dale Gribble, Nancy Gribble/John Redcorn
Comments: 13
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I guess there's sensitive material on and off..  
> Also I'm still figuring out how navigation on this site works, so if there are formatting issues, I'm sorry.

Peggy Hill put down the pregnancy test. Two lines. She was with child. Her and Hank gave up trying a while ago, on account of his narrow urethra of course. But Peggy was getting old too, having a baby in her mid 40's would put the baby at risk for being born with a variety of issues, including Down Syndrome. As much delight as the idea of having another child was to Peggy, she knew that she and Hank would have trouble loving a child with Down's... There was only one thing to do: get an abortion and not tell Hank. This would be easy enough because he, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer were on a weekend fishing/camping trip. Whereas Bobby was spending the next few nights with Joseph, under Nancy's supervision.

* * *

Hank pulled the grill out the back of his truck and set it up a couple feet away from the tents that had already been set up. "This weekend ough'ta be a good one, I'll tell you what!" he said with a pleasant smile.

"It sure is a nice day!" Bill said with glee, "Shall we hit the riverside?" He grabbed his fishing pole out from the back of Hank's truck and started heading toward the direction of the stream. 

"Well now hold on, Bill." Hank replied, "We just got here, it's been a couple hour's drive. Let's take a break. The sky's starting to pink up as well." Hank shut the hatch of the truck and went towards the backseat to grab the sleeping bags and whatnot.

"Oh," Bill sighed, "Well I'm tired anyways." He kicked shuffled his feet around in the dirt, just for the sake of fidgeting.

Hank passed out the sleeping bags one by one. After doing so he crossed his arms, noticing there was only three tents rather than four. He frowned, "Dale..."

"Yeah, Hank?" Dale chimed with a guilty tone to his voice.

"Did you forget your tent... _Again?_ "

This was not the first time he's done so

"Yes." Dale said with a sigh.

"What're we gonna do with you?"

Dale shrugged and Hank let out a frustrated grunt. These men sure do act like children more often than not, he thought. Dale couldn't believe he forgot his tent, he felt like such an idiot. It was always awkward when he upset Hank. But now this meant he'd have to figure out a sleeping arrangement. Boomhauer make a point: "Talking 'bout some sleepin' under dang ol' stars man, watch the sky at night, damn pretty, I tell yuh what." Dale threw his arms up, "And let myself be exposed to the cold touch of Bigfoot?!"

Hank shook his head, "There is no such thing as Bigfoot, Dale. And you couldn't sleep outside because it's not quite summer, henceforth the nights are still cold; and even though 'Sasquatch' is not a threat, other wild animals are... You're gonna have to share a tent with one of us."


	2. Chapter 2

Peggy Hill looked at herself in the mirror, she looked miserable. After all, she did just spend the last two or three minutes puking her guts out. So much for her toaster waffle and strawberries. She splashed a little water on her face, dried off, and walked out of the bathroom. There was a Planned Parenthood there in Arlen, but she worried acquaintances, or friends even, might see her walking in and out. So she decided to make way to a location over in Houston; where there would be less of a chance of bumping into somebody she knew. She hated herself for doing this but she didn't think having a child at her age would do any good for her body, or the baby. Peggy was going to do what she felt like was the best option. Thus, she slipped into her shoes, grabbed her car keys and set out the front door. 

She walked up to the front doors and caught the establishment just before closing time. Considering the hour, she had to set an appointment rather than do a walk-in. Which was exactly what she did. There was no chickening out here. The next day, at 12:45pm was when her appointment was. Peggy was a nervous wreck.

* * *

Bill piped up, "You can sleep in my tent, Dale!" He seemed giddy. Bill was desperate for any kind of companion. Dale shuddered, "That's worse than Bigfoot! Can I sleep with you, Hank?" Hank, rubbing his temples, said, "Are you gonna chatter all night?"

"No!"

\----

Dale turned in his sleeping bag to face Hank's back, "So you don't believe in aliens, huh? But think, Hank! The universe is absolutely massi-"

"Alright get up!" Hank said angrily. He pulled out of his sleeping bag and grabbed Dale's arm, dragging him out of the tent. He marched over to Bill's tent first, but Dale promptly fought this decision, whining about how Bill is a worse chatterbug than himself and that Bill smells. So Hank yanked him over to Boomhauer's tent, unzipped the front and shook Boomhauer awake.

"Damn, wh- WHAT, man?"

"Dale's keeping me up and he refuses to go in Bill's tent. You take him!" Hank tossed Dale into the tent and his sleeping bag after him.

Boomhauer glared at Dale, "You talking 'bout them fuck'n aliens, man, we tryna get some dang sleep, tell yuh what." All Dale could do was chuckle, this was quite awkward. He's disrupted the sleep of two colleagues. This wasn't ideal. He slipped into the sleeping bag and tried to get comfy. Boomhauer's tent was awfully small, not a lot of room for two grown men, Dale was sure Boomahuer didn't exactly plan on having to share a tent with somebody else this weekend. 

"Agh- Goddamnit! Dale! Elbowing me in my dang ol' sides, man, CHILL!" Boomhauer half-whispered.

"Sorry..." Dale sighed, he didn't wanna piss off his last chance at a decent sleeping arrangement too badly. Finally he had gotten comfy on his side, back facing Boomhauer. He liked the warmth of another person next to him. He liked it a lot. This feeling made him miss Nancy to some degree, but this was different. He slowly scooted closer, 'til the backs of the two men touched. This was better. Dale couldn't quite put his finger on it, but every so often he would see a guy and he just felt near giddy. Something like what he felt now. He could hear Boomhauer's soft breathing, an indicator that he was in a light sleep. Dale thought about how all was at peace at that moment. It were as if time stood still. Suddenly, after pondering the idea of another man's touch, it hit him. Dale Gribble had finally realized that he was attracted to men. He panicked a moment; did this mean he's gay? No! Most certainly not, he still relished the idea of Nancy's body. He still wanted to have sex with her, but he also- apparently- liked the idea of having sex with other men... He couldn't think straight; he wasn't straight! This profound epiphany of sorts only meant one thing: if the men that he felt vaguely excited around were men that he was attracted to, this means that, to an extent, he's attracted to Boomhauer!

Dale flipped over to face Boomhauer, and begun to gently shake him.

"Damn- D- Dale, stop, man! Trying to sleep!"

"I.. um... Aw man, how do I even begin! I... Aw... Fuck it!" Dale, being the impulsive airhead he is, grabbed Boomhauer and kissed him. On the lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter to highlight the shenanigans of the children

Bobby pulled the back of the collar of his shirt so it was over his head and stumbled around, "I am the hunchback of Notre Dame! I'm gonna- WOAH!" he fell backwards onto the floor and Joseph threw his head back, howling with laughter. This was fun, the two of them hanging out like this, but it was starting to get boring for Joseph. He wanted to sneak out and do shit. Suddenly, Nancy opened the bedroom door, "Boys, lights out. It's nearly midnight." Joseph sighed and stretched out an 'okay' in a monotone voice. Mrs. Hicks-Gribble flicked the light off and left the room, closing the door behind her. After a minute or so of silence Bobby pulled out a flashlight and turned it on, "Shall we tell ghost stories?" He said with an exaggerated Transylvanian accent.

Joseph shook his head, "I have a better idea..."

"What?"

"Let's sneak out!"

"WHAT? Joseph! Wh-what about Mrs. Gribb, er, your mom? and my mom? She's next door! Either of them could come and check on us!"

"Relax, Bobby. I have a plan."

"Okay... but can Connie come too?"

"Of course! Then we can do dumb teenager stuff together! We'll start a dumpster fire!"

* * *

Boomhauer shoved Dale away and sat up, "WHAT'RE YUH DOING?! MAN, SHIT'S FUCKING WEIRD! TALKING 'BOUT- I AIN'T NO DAMN, _fairy!_ " He practically hissed. Dale understood this reaction considering his advance was completely out of the blue and totally unwarranted. Dale sat up and put his hand behind his neck in a bashful manner, he felt a little silly, "I'm sorry Boomhauer... I don't don't know what came over me, I just... I don't know..." Boomhauer shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Can't believe this." He hunched over and sighed. Dale started to get out of his sleeping bag, "I'll see myself out."

"No, man. S- Stay."

"Huh?" Dale turned back around, "You sure?"

"Yeah, man.. That was kinda nice, I'll tell yuh what." Boomhauer slipped out of his sleeping bag and pat the area next to him, inviting Dale to come over. Dale awkwardly slid next to Boomhauer and gently leaned into him. This was uncomfortable for both of them on account of how 1. the way the situation unfolded and 2. the fact that neither men have done anything like this before. Dale scooted closer into Boomhauer's embrace and eventually rested his head on the other man's chest. They sat in silence for a while, thinking about this interaction and what they wanted to do next.

* * *

Joseph pulled the blankets over the pillow decoys of both he and Bobby. "I can't believe we're doing this!" Bobby squealed. "Hah, yeah, I know! We're gonna fuck shit up, dude!"

"What are we all gonna do once we all get out?"

"Uhh, I have a Zippo lighter... That's- Oh yeah! My mom's hairspray! We can make a flamethrower!"

"WOW! What're we gonna use it on?!" Bobby jumped up and down with glee, "Ooh ohh! I got it! We can make... Get this: Flaming bags of dog poop!"

Joseph cackled as he opened up his bedroom window, "HAHAH YEAH! OR WE- WE COULD LIKE GET A SQUIRREL AND WE COULD COOK IT!"

Bobby just kinda blinked at Joseph for a moment, "Uh let's just stick with the doggy bags..."

"YE- Yeah, okay."

Joseph climbed out the window and Bobby followed. Their next goal, retrieve Connie.

Bobby ran up to Connie's bedroom window and knocked a few times in a rhythmic pattern. After a few minutes, Connie slid open her window, "What the- Bobby? Joseph? What are you doing?"

"Sneaking out!" Joseph said, just above a whisper.

"Are you guys serious? What do I have to do with this?"

"We want you to join us, Connie!" Bobby piped up. Connie gave a displeased expression, there were plenty of factors that played a role as to why she couldn't sneak out. Of course, that didn't mean that she didn't want to. Giving a soft smile, she said: "Sure, alright. Let me set up some pillows in my bed real quick." The girl turned away and went back into the darkness of her room for a handful of minutes. Both of the boys awaited eagerly, they knew tonight was going to be good. Connie popped her head back out soon enough and eventually clambered out of her window and landed in the slightly damp grass. She swung a backpack in front of her legs and pulled out a can of spray paint, "I found this in the garage. I'm sure nobody will miss it for a few hours or so." Joseph pumped his fist into the air, "ALRIGHT! LET'S HUFF IT!" Bobby and Connie both gave him a concerned look and the Laotian girl spoke in an awkward tone, "I was thinking more like... vandalizing?" Bobby nodded and Joseph just kinda slumped his shoulders, "Yeah. Okay." He forgot how enthusiastic he could get sometimes.

"So where should go?" Bobby said with a glint of mischief in his eyes. Joseph snickered, "I know! Let's go hang out at the elementary school playground!" This time everybody seemed to agree that this was a good idea, and so, they left the side of the Souphanousiphone household and in the direction of the elementary school. The walk was about 35 minutes, and they spent it chatting about what they were gonna spray paint and what kinds of things Joseph liked setting on fire. Finally they reached the school, and the climbed the fence to access the playground. They hung out on the swings, played on the slide, and climbed around the monkey bars. Out of nowhere the young teens heard voices. Swearing mostly. These voices were clearly that of highschoolers.

"Oh man! _Teenagers!_ " Bobby said in distress, "What're we gonna do?!"

Connie elbowed the chubby boy in his side, "You idiot, _we're_ teenagers too! And we're gonna carry on with what we're doing!" She said with dignity as she held up the spray paint and headed towards on of the walls of the school, "What should I write?" Joseph grinned maniacally and half-shouted, "SWEAR WORDS! LIKE 'FUCK' AND 'SHIT'!" He laughed. The little gremlins had forgot about the older kids until right then.

"What are you little scabs doing?"

The three children gasped in sync and whipped around to see four pimply and mean looking teens towering in front of them. One had a deep voice, a chinstrap, and long greasy hair and said: "Is that spray paint? Are you guys vandalizing the elementary school?" The other three juveniles snickered and sneered. "Y'know that's illegal, right? Gimme!" He swiped at the can in Connie's hand but she dodged and dropped it instead. "Get them!" One teen with grass-green hair and a bunch of piercings growled.

Bobby, Joseph and Connie all ran in the same direction from which they had originally arrived. Adrenaline pumping through their veins as they dashed to the fence gate away from their would-be attackers. They scrambled over wood-chips, dirt, asphalt, and concrete. Soon enough the trio of misfits were dashing down streets and alleyways. After a good 10 minutes of running and stumbling, they hid behind trash cans lined up in an alley.

Through wheezes and heavy panting, Bobby choked out a "Can you hear anything? Are they Gone?"

Connie, gripping her chest, slumped into the ground further, "Can't tell," she coughed "heart beating fast." Bobby gave a light frown as his breathing began to regulate.

"That sure was scary."

Joseph was shaking from the adrenaline rush, "That was... AWESOME!" He peaked around the garbage can and steady the heaving in his chest. "Coast is clear! We should-"

"We shouldn't anything, Joseph." The young teen girl said with a bitter hint of anxiety in hear voice. "We sh- I... I knew this was a bad idea. I want to go home. WE _should_ go home." Bobby pursed his lips and nodded reluctantly, there was an extra layer of rasp to his voice on account of the fact that was most running he's ever done, "Yeah, that wasn't very fun. Before being chased by pimply goths, it was a little boring. The thrill was nice but it's not like there's much to do at night." 

Joseph slumped down, "Yeah." He sighed in defeat. "Let's go home then." They all got up and walked in the direction of their homes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back to working on this chapter.

Dale looked up at Boomhauer, he was asleep. Go figure. Despite the both of them contemplating their next moves, they had been laying there in silence for what felt like hours. Dale checked his watch, it was about 2:30 in the morning. He wasn't even tired, his adrenaline was still high from when he had kissed Boomhauer. He felt like such a fool, thinking about it now, this cuddling session felt like it was instigated out of pity. He thought Boomhauer probably wouldn't want to wake up with Dale in his arms, so Dale slipped away and back into his sleeping bag and closed his eyes.

\---

Hank unzipped the front of Boomhauer's tent and stated with authority, "Get up you two, it's time we make breakfast then go fishing." Dale put his glasses on and slipped out of the tent with Boomhauer coming out after him. Hank went to wake Bill next. Dale cleared his throat, "So... About last n-" Boomahuer put his hand up, and without making eye contact he said, "Talking 'bout fuck'n awkward, man. Don't mention it, Gribble." Then he walked in the direction of Bill and Hank who were by the fire pit.

* * *

Peggy was in the shower, after her bought of morning sickness at 6, she couldn't seem to fall back asleep. There was no backing out, she had to do this. It was the best decision for her and her family. After washing out the conditioner from her hair she just stood under the warm water for another thirty minutes, letting her mind take her wherever. After such time had passed, she reluctantly got out and dressed. 10:30. The ticking of the kitchen clock almost made her feel insane. Time seemed endless. She checked again. 11:15. Time to go. Perhaps she'd pay a visit to Bobby real quick. No, she didn't have time for that. She stepped out the front door and walked towards her car. Each step felt like 30 years. After what felt like forever she made it to her car, slipped inside and backed out of the driveway


End file.
